I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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