well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
