garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
