And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
