you would pick up someone in the library
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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