Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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