I must be too annoying 4 u.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
vagina is talking i cant
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
