Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
