STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
