I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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