no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
