But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
