this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
