yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
