Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
