im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
