Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
