is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
