eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
