I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
