I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
