if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
