i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He passed out mid-signature
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
