i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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