How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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