But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
