i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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