I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
