There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
