This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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