So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
