So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
