I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
birth control should be required to get into college
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize