it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize