it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
