Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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