using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Alive.
So much puke
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
