i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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