I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
