I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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