...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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