im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
