Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
