There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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