the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
