what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
