Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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