Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
