my vag is so smooth its legendary
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
