I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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