she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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