I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize