I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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