with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
