Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize