I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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