Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.

(503): View more from Oregon

I am not joking.

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(408): View more from California

and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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(214): View more from Texas

so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

(1-214): View more from Texas

dont u have athletes foot?

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(310): View more from California

Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

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(206): View more from Washington

I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

only you. it could only happen to you.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma

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(254): View more from Texas

Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.

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