so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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