btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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