Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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