I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize