so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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