Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
