Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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