Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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