it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
