Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
